Archive for December, 2007

Bullshit Bingo- The Medical Version

December 26, 2007 1 comment


Are you on the verge of passing out flat on the floor after your umpteenth hour on rounds.  Do morning report and noon conferences seem to drag on endlessly?   Have no fear, Bullshit Bingo is here!!!

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Merry Christmas to all!

December 25, 2007 Leave a comment

Charlie Brown Christmas – Performed by the Cast of Scrubs

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Doctor calls patient a fat balloon!

December 23, 2007 Leave a comment
Doctor banned for ‘fat balloon’ comment
He also fell asleep during consultation, patient says
The Gazette
The Quebec College of Physicians has barred a Montreal doctor from working for a year for calling one of his patients a “fat balloon.”The professional order’s disciplinary committee penalized neurologist Jean-Gilles Blain, 72, for his blunt, rude and unsympathetic manner with a female patient. Blain is also accused of falling asleep on the job.His licence to practise was lifted for 12 months and he was fined $600.

The ruling, made public yesterday, did not reveal the patient’s name.

The woman filed a complaint with the College after a visit to Blain’s office in April 2004.

She had been referred to Blain for numbness to her right arm. She was scheduled for an electromyography, a test that assesses the health of the muscles and the nerves controlling them.

The patient contended Blain mocked her. He called her “fat” several times, told her she ate too much and said her problems were all in her head, she said.

The doctor also fell asleep during the consultation and snored, she testified.

Blain later stuck his hand between her thighs, saying: “How can such a beautiful girl like you be such a fat balloon?” the patient recalled.

There have been numerous complaints about Blain’s behaviour since 1978, said Jean-Claude Fortin, an investigator for the College.

Disciplinary decisions in 2001 and 2003, followed by remedial training, seem to have had little effect on Blain’s attitude problems, Fortin said.

In his defence, Blain said he has sought treatment for his insomnia and now no longer falls asleep at work.

Blain conceded he is sometimes direct and frank with patients, but he said he also spends a lot of time explaining conditions and treatments.

Blain didn’t deny the events; he regretted what happened and tried to offer his apologies to the patient. But he said he couldn’t remember having said or done those things.

Banning him from practising medicine would be the death of his professional career, Blain said.

© The Gazette (Montreal) 2007
 They say the French can be rude, but my God….a fat balloon!  You gotta love the line, “Blain conceded he is sometimes direct and frank with his patients.”  Ya think?!  In the least, he could’ve been a little more subtle- I dunno..maybe plump or stout or even meaty or fleshy wouldn’t have sounded half as bad as calling her a fat balloon TO HER FACE!?  I fully understand that a lapse of judgement can occur but this seems to be a recurrent problem with Blain and there appears to be a serious lapse of character here or some serious social retardation going on.  Even an eight year old knows that if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all.
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December 22, 2007 2 comments


A surgeon who allegedly took a photo of a patient’s penis during an operation at a US hospital is no longer working there, it has been announced.

Dr Adam Hansen, of Arizona’s Mayo Clinic Hospital, is accused of taking the snap while conducting gallbladder surgery earlier in December.

The chief of general surgery allegedly showed the photo to fellow surgeons.

The patient is a strip club owner whose penis is tattooed with the words “Hot Rod”.

A member of the surgical staff tipped off local newspaper The Arizona Republic about the incident in an anonymous call on Monday.

The announcement that he was “no longer practising” at the Mayo clinic was posted on the hospital’s website. It is not clear whether he resigned or was dismissed.

‘Great outrage’

On the same day the patient learned about the photo when the Nobel Prize-winning clinic, based in Scottsdale, telephoned him.

Now I feel violated, betrayed and disgusted

The businessman said: “I got a strange call after my surgery from a doctor who said there was a problem. He said Hansen was on the phone and would explain.”

The patient said that the surgeon confessed to having used his mobile phone to take the picture while inserting a catheter into his penis.

The patient, who said the tattoo was done for a $1,000 (£500) bet, continued: “Now I feel violated, betrayed and disgusted.

“The longer I sit here the angrier I get.”


My first reaction after hearing of this story was “Who snitched?!”  Not to say that this resident did the most prudent thing by taking these pics but to rat someone out to the press and ruin one’s career?  You see, there are a lot of Linda Tripps lurking in our midst while we toil away within our country’s hallowed hospital wards and or’s.  She can be your fellow resident, an attending, medical student, nursing supervisor, ultrasonagropher, radiology technician, file clerk, or even the nutritionist.  Yes, even the sweet wholesome looking nutritionist who goes by Mary can plunge the knife right into your back and end it all.  Whoever said medicine was “safe” and a guaranteed job for life?

Anyhow, tough break for this surgery resident who was chief and in his fifth and final year.  Or is it?  My advice to Hot Rod Penis Doc if you are out there and listening-  Seize this opportunity of a lifetime!!!  You got the world’s attention…now take your fifteen minutes of fame and run with it.  I think you and Mr. Hot Rod Penis should band together and get into the porn industry.  Remember the Bobbits???  Think of all the mad money you could make off this.  I think this is a brilliant exit strategy out of medicine!  Then you could tell the Mayo Clinic to go suck it (the hot rod penis of course) since MedicineSux!!!

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Health Insurance Sucks

December 21, 2007 Leave a comment

Health Insurance Sucks in the USA

Through her sassy sense of humor, Theresident asks people on the street their thoughts on the current state of health insurance in the USA.

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Joining a Gang

December 21, 2007 2 comments


Over on SDN, there has been quite a popular thread brewing this week entitled “Why do you keep doing it if you’re miserable?” .  This got me thinking-

Isn’t Medicine in many ways just like joining  a gang?

Now now… bear with me for a moment…I realize that this may be a bit of a stretch but hear me out.  In order to get into a gang one must undergo a brutal initiation.  If you survive getting the crap beaten out of you,  then you can proudly call yourself a gangster.  Likewise, to call yourself a doctor you must undergo four years of torture called medical school in the form of endless tests and being pissed on by everybody including the assistant of the nursing assistant.

Gangs are said to use physical violence to keep their members in check just as verbal and mental violence is freely unleashed about the hospital work environment to keep residents always on guard.  Gangs also define themselves as being opposed to mainstream norms.  Whereas normal people work 9-5, don’t allow themselves to get beeped at 2AM, or work 30 hrs STRAIGHT, Medicine sees this as perfectly acceptable.  Now if this way of life does not seem to be the paradise that you had previously envisioned, you are in for a rude awakening.  If you try to get out of the gang you will be hunted down and killed.  If you leave medicine, you have broken your vows to the NRMP contract and are blacklisted from re entering the match (not that you would ever want to return to residency if you are lucky enough to get to this point).  You would never talk about this Machiavellian scheme to others in your gang or residency for fear of being labeled “weak” or “lazy” or “stupid”.   You will quickly be made to feel like an outsider and that is the last thing anyone wants to feel.  So like most everyone else in your predicament,  you shut up and suck it up and stay just like some battered wife who refuses to leave her husband.

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Welcome to Medicinesux

December 21, 2007 Leave a comment

Welcome to Medicinesux and my very first posting!  In this blog, I will shed my true thoughts and opinions regarding the medical profession.  Just be forewarned- what you will find here will be raw, blunt, and provoking.  It is meant to be eye opening and exposing what medicine really is as seen through the eyes of ONE resident.

If you are looking for the latest clinical studies on whether CT or V/Q scanning should be the initial imaging choice to rule out PE, I can assure you that you will not find it here (If you really must know then click here  If you are looking for the inside secrets of getting into a top medical school, you won’t find much help here either.  If anything I will try to talk you out of it.  However, if you were chewed out by an attending today for not knowing every damn positive culture result and sensitivity going back 2 months on your patient, Septic Suzy, or passed out after holding the retractors for seven hours straight in the OR this just may be the blog for you.   In order to keep this blog as real as possible and to protect my anonymity, all I will say for now is that I am Resident X at Program Y in Specialty Z.  Welcome to my world of medicine- or should I say, welcome to the Jungle!

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